I know how hard it is to get over someone. It takes a long time and it can be frustrating as hell. Sometimes it seems like the easy way out to pick up a rebound. If I'm being a honest? A drunk make-out at a party with a random probably wouldn't hurt anyone... But anything further is probably not a good idea. There are many things you have to consider.
I know the last person you want to think about is your ex but clearly you still care about this person. Sometimes it can be a competition to see who can move on the fastest but you have to let go of that. Your feelings are so much more important. You can't lie to yourself about the fact that you still care. Their happiness is still important to you and chances are your ex is going to find out about this little rebound of yours and shit, that hurts... I've been there! You've probably been there! This person that you still feel very strongly for, has found someone else to drown you out, even though you know they still feel very strongly for you too... It's definitely something to think about.
The other person you want to think about is the rebound. You say you're "sure she or he doesn't have strong feelings for you"... Are you 100% sure about that? It's likely that they have stronger feelings than you think... Are you lying to them about your feelings for them? Do they know that you're not over your ex? If you're not being honest to them about that then the truth is that you're leading them on. If things progress, this rebound of yours will only fall for you harder and end up getting hurt. I know, that this is not your intention, which is why you need to be aware of what you are doing.
Lastly, the person you need to think about is you. It's okay to be alone, it's okay to feel sad about your break up and it's okay to miss your ex partner. You have to let yourself feel bad emotions to know just how good the good emotions are. I also think that accepting and embracing your feelings is a very healthy thing to do as they are nothing to be ashamed of. It also makes it a lot easier to let go of them when the time calls for it. I do realize that you have accepted that you are not over your feelings but in a sense, you are covering up the truth regardless, with how your acting with this other person. The thing is, seeing as you still care about your ex, and are obviously still thinking about him, this new guy is always going to be connected to your ex in your mind, so if you are serious about getting over your ex, it starts with you. Keeping triggers around will only make things take longer.
Take a look at my previous posts about breaking up with someone. You'll see that I talk a lot about how it's okay to be by yourself and look after yourself without the help of a romantic partner. You are whole by yourself and you can let yourself be detached.
Good luck everyone
- We are Golden
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